I started to feel "boxed in" every time I walked into our house.
That boxed in feeling where claustrophobia sets in.
Because I've completely slacked on keeping up with house things in the last several months.
Yesterday, we spent the better part of the day emptying out the closet, toy boxes, and corners of our house. Organizing what we no longer need into: donate, throw away, recycle, or keep.
Our house is 600 sq ft.
It's the same size as my studio apartment I rented years ago when I first moved back to Sacramento.
I loathe collecting "stuff." We are not really collectors, per se. I am obnoxiously practical, when it comes to buying things (my obnoxious, I mean awesomelypractical). But when you add holidays, birthdays, etc -- stuff comes in and stuff needs a place and I had just about had it.
I think we could all use more space in our lives. There's this shit-idea that we have to fit ourselves to the brim as though it makes our life hold meaning. I want to create more space. For myself and others.
I have been offering more space in my yoga classes too.
Less music. Less story-telling. Less rigidity. Less cueing. Less filling. Less trying hard.
Less is more.
More receiving. More surrender. More tuning in. More exploring. More space. More ease.
I am watching where your breath travels as you lay in savasana.
Seeing if your belly rises and falls with ease versus pumped up in your chest with force.
Because it matters. Your breath matters.
I am watching you more than ever before.
Because it matters. Seeing you matters.
With this exploration, I have noticed how jarring it feels to be in a class where the music never stops, where a teacher doesn't hush-up for two seconds, and how there is never a sense of settling because the class is so damn full of "stuff."
And the class is not terrible or wrong by any means. They're just full.
I leave feeling like I ate too much or too fast. I need to unbutton my pants and go lay on the couch because I'm stuffed.
Feeling overstuffed makes me tired and bloated.
And I don't want to walk out of a yoga class feeling tired or the need to unbutton my pants for the world.
Space. I am exploring with it more. It feels damn good.
Space is spacious. As my friend, Bethany, once said.
Less doing. More Being.
Write Club Prompt
Notice where you fill in your life. Start to explore your why for filling. Is your schedule a "have to" or a "get to?" Where can you let go and give yourself space. Write about this.
Take one less thing off your schedule everyday for 7 days in a row. Write about this experience of canceling plans, not doing something, etc. What did it feel like to cancel/say no/ or not do something just because? What were the consequences? Did you have guilt about it or feel empowered? Is this something you can enact in your life moving forward?