boundaries like a boss

I was talking in one of my yoga classes over the weekend about how I was recently told that I shouldn't talk openly about my life frustrations out loud.

And that I shouldn't share my opinions because I'm a yoga teacher

That these expressions are harmful. 

I used to believe in the above too.

Gosh, we have so many shoulds in the dos/do nots of this world. 

Especially, in yoga. 

Thing is, I've spent a great-deal of my life attempting to control my feelings. 

I've also spent a great deal keeping my mouth shut.

I was raised by these words:

"Stop your crying otherwise I'll give you something to cry about."

It's a conditioning that your voice, feelings, thoughts, and actions don't matter.

So, I stopped crying. I stopped talking. I stopped feeling.

When my grandpa died, I didn't cry. I wanted to but I couldn't. And I loved that man, I looked up to him. I mentioned in a previous email that I grew up being a "grandma's and grandpa's girl."

A few years later, I became a mom. 

And I've just about cried now more than I have my entire life.

Even when I'm really happy. 

I'm soft and hard at the same time. 

I am soft in the way that goes all-in for my people. 

I am hard in the way that I will not take shit.

I allow myself to think and feel. I allow myself to express openly. 

And I have boundaries like a boss

I had a friend ask me for advice on women/dating. He was hurting because the woman he was dating was messing with his heart. 

People play too much.

They play games with other people's emotions and lives. 

Because people are sick.

Sick in the way that they want to hurt others in the ways they hurt or have been hurt.

It's messed up. 

Separate yourself from people like that immediately
You cannot help them by sticking around. 
Some people can only receive help from the love you send from afar.

Have boundaries like a boss, it is essential to your health (wealth).

Your voice, thoughts, feelings, and action matter.

You matter.

Love, 

Steph