Changing pace; like nature, right on time

I am carrying on what’s beneath the surface. It’s the greens and blues, life like a pendulum swing carried by the sea. Perhaps what’s most true for each of us is what’s underneath the shell, what isn’t necessarily written or spoken, our nature of true self. The untidy, unkept. The way we burst and cry with laughter or how tears can move us from joy to pain and back to joy sensually. We pull back and crash forth often when no one is looking.

I am changing myself, perhaps folding into myself as the summer’s end begins to creep in. I find myself going quiet. Taking long pauses to respond. Feeling no need to reply upon immediate calls. Often the things I held tight to respond, as if to say, “I’m here!” I’m still here but not so fast.

So instant, we move, sometimes absorbing ourselves to race. Where are we all going so fast? Is that living, at racing speeds? Can we listen to ourselves when much of the life is pressed by a button? I don’t know.
I ask questions that don’t need answer. It is simple. A need for privacy, maybe protection, not out of fear, but out of love. A desire to move slow, not to fill up the day with mindless tasks or draining relationships. I think it’s time to move on from anything that distracts me from the presence of love.

So, life is the light kept beneath the sea. I take on the pleasures and lessons that bathed me here. There’s so much beauty and light and love, even when faced with terror. It’s there. I see now, more than ever, how my light has carried the weight of my darkness. When my shadow was most loud, screaming and raging, at times, it was the whisper of light I heard. In its soft cues, I moved toward the light. I kept on. Moving to be moved. Now much slower, I know I’m changing pace. And it feels like it’s right on time, like nature, always on time.

I am pulled by ways of nature. Swinging with the sea, life by the sea.

stephanie birch