We choose

Healing is a choice. It is a requirement that you crawl inside of yourself. There will be tensions and triggers that often pulse in your body, listen to them well, feel them without blame. There’s no solitude in blaming the other, or the past. Your triggers are the very places you must go inside. It is a cue to check in.
You can clench your jaw, hold tightly onto pain, as a currency for attention. You can receive from others and take to comfort of the superficial. You can exhaust yourself chasing connection of the other. So afraid to be abandoned by the external, you’ll fold and fall and gravel at the doors of short comfort. This, my dear, is a hard pill, you fear the ones who may leave you, so reach, molding yourself into another. Know this: you’ve long ago left yourself.
You long for words and touch from others to fill yourself. To heal. To feel. To love. To forgive.
Come back to choice. It is the path traveled alone.
Only you can heal yourself.
Only you can feel yourself.
Only you can love yourself.
Only you can forgive yourself.
When you forgive yourself, you forgive all. You untie the ropes of blame, you untether yourself from shame, and release yourself from darkness into light. Again and again. It is not easy, it is absolutely necessary. You change your world within, one breath, one wing span at a time, one step at a time. Your life can change in a moment, if you so choose.

Fill yourself with so much love so that it overflows into your neighbor’s cup.

stephanie birch