The light within - goodbye home

Last week, we said goodbye to this teeny-tiny house. It was no longer our home since we received notice. The neighborhood is shifting, the new arena built, the storming in of new residents and much higher prices. An out with no choice. They're transforming the neighborhood, they say.

Light from sun up to sun down, much of my healing came from such light. I confided to a friend my reservations about the move, a fear of falling back into dark. I don't need light for photos or a pretty window for practice. Living in the light, I could not close off and go dark. I kept my face towards the sun, wrote ferociously, and loved fiercely in that space. 

Those walls kept by 100 year old rotting wood and bad electrical. What you don't see in photos is a house above an alley with weekly drug deals and human waste. Continuously busted motion lights and midnight hollers that often kept nights restless. The home that held such great light, tucked behind a gated, 3-key entry. This was a home that was in constant unrest; noise and stimulation a part of its order. A place on alert. It would be the place I stopped walking with my son after being harassed and followed. A place where I called the cops more times than I could count. A place where our mail was continuously stolen. It would also be the place that kept us close, warm, and clean. A place for creation. A place that holds favorite memories, like our best friends for neighbors, and chosen family cooking and game nights.

Some say they will miss this space and the stunning window light, maybe I will at times. But when the curtains came down and we began to strip, it no longer held the same light, nor kept our memories and our happy. As I practiced in the space one last time, it seemed so small and dark. My fear no longer kept me here. We made this home a home with our love. We made this home a home with our light. As we carry our love and our light, we will carry it on to the next. This old home held us for a time and I am grateful for that window of time. #lovealltheway