reflections of the past

We began to mirror each other. In ways you’re sure of finishing another’s sentences or pitched tales of kaleidoscope wisdom. There were story upsets resolved by the other nodding, “me too.” Words that escaped one’s lips only to be inhaled by the reflection. The similarities that built forged a union. 
Then the mirrored door opened and no one was there. I shut it and reopened to find the same result. As if to replay the past that once was, it was not. Taken to a timeline curser of pseudo keep. A farce. A play on one’s life, all for another’s gain. You will learn that some will wrap their branches around you so tightly in order to uproot your own. Some will play the character role of agreeable sorts, build confidant-like trust, portraying high-esteem. You will spin certain with sensory fixation. You’ll believe it to be real and wild until it’s not. You’ll feel like you’ve been punched in the gut when alarms steam with truth. You ignored the hushed cues or the quiet questions from others. Always the firm belief in experiencing life and others for yourself. You’ll want to kick and scream, rage with question. Only to realize, some will attempt to get close in order to take you. They’ll align themselves as perfect mirrors, sweeping you up from the sea.
All for self-gain, like a buffer, she hid her real self. You question the mirrors and how she latched. You see the attempts to control, the attempts to prevent hurt. With some space and detachment, no mirrored messages or coaxed dials, you see. And you soften your spiral, letting go of her reigns. You see her wounds and understand that simulation is often times attempting to heal oneself. As if digging into another can build love and esteem. You happened to be choice constant at one time. You could not (cannot) help her, you can only love her. She will be off to the next constant to parallel, until she is ready to reflect and see herself, to heal herself. Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, sometimes it’s the only way forward.
Sometimes the greatest love you can give someone is from a distance.

stephanie birch