hard and soft

Loving comes easy when you are loving to yourself.
Kindness comes easy when you are kind to yourself.
Compassion comes easy when you are compassionate with yourself.

It comes easy when it’s starts with the self. I used to think the world was hard on me until I realized that I was the one that was hard on the world. The more I dug through my insides, the more I began to see where I was stiff, cold, unloving. I’ve dissolved the old stories and patterns of hiding. No longer upheld to, “stop crying or else” phrases. I would say most of my life I was quite certain that my strength rested in suffering quietly, living in cruelty, relentless with the final word that could pierce another. Hardened ways and icy trails riddled with little emotion. Bottled experiences, showing little face. 

I think that’s what I feared most about motherhood. How could I love and care for another when I hardly could do the same for myself?

I am different now. I know this, I feel it. I cannot change my old, hardened ways. I can change today.

Returning to love.
Returning to kindness.
Returning to compassion.

I am responsible for my soft shell, allowing life and love to penetrate it boldly and beautifully. It comes much easier now.