Uncovering wounds, discovering truths

We can become so attached to wounds that we can create an identity out of them. We introduce ourselves from pain, we excuse ourselves because of our pain, and we attempt to control everyone and everything through our pain. I, for one, have held onto resentment in my life, with myself and reserved some of it for others. I thought I could keep it in a tight, little box hidden away and cover it with doing and busy-ness only for it to show up in my life every single day. Pushing people away instead of asking for space. Holding the same arguments with my partner. Filling up my plate only to serve others, leaving little for myself. I live played out moments, pretending they're script from movie-lines and crack jokes only to force a smile that isn't really there. I have continued making the same choices and introductions from my pain. Thinking less-than thoughts and finding ways to attach to the un-changed. I used this pain to remember where I come from; my old stomping grounds, my family history, status, success only to recognize that I'm not remembering far back enough. I used this pain as a crutch and bounced out of integrity with myself and with those closest to me. Sometimes we can fear change so much that we stay in the cracks of our broken body out of comfort. We like our patterns to be just that. We like the same mistakes and messages and lessons. Know that every choice, every thought, action, and our story lives inside of our bones. Our attachment to pain only regenerates cells from this pain. And all things move in cycles. We regenerate what we pay attention to in our mental and into our physical. We have to remember we came here to be in awe and wander. Take yourself back to conception, to purpose, to the Soul, take yourself way back beyond your birth and history. It's so much more than our physical existence encapsulated by a date of birth. Choose to forgive yourself and you'll speed up the progression of change, forgiving yourself to forgive all.

To truly heal, you'll sacrifice yourself into a whole different person. Force yourself to forgive, every damn day.

True change is never measured in smallness, it is so big. And vast. Bigger than yourself. For yourself. And For all.


 

stephynow