confused connection, pretend bravery

Incredibly grateful for the people, the teachings, the love, the hurt, the highs, and lows that make up this beautiful life. If someone told me two years ago I would be teaching yoga and pouring my heart to people, I would’ve certainly hidden myself from the world and locked away in my darkness. To be seen in the raw has provided so much abundance in love and experience it’s hard to grasp how I could be deserving of such spirits that encourage me forward, onward, and upward. I used to think the world was so hard until I realized that I was the one that was hard on the world.
For years, I tucked away sensitivity and emotions into cold and dark places of my being. I confused connection with cocktail commonalities, loose lips, half-truths, toxicity as a birthright, and fast sex when it came to partners or relationships or friendships; ensuring none of these people will move past surface streets of my truths. I thought bravery came from pretending and hiding pieces of ourselves. Instead, I have found that bravery is the ability to stand boldly in my truth, the ebbs and flows of life as it is - the armor of truth of highs and lows.
I understand now that vulnerability is the key to unlocking the connection between you and me, thank you to countless teachers near and far. I understand the importance of sharing our fears, aches, desires, struggles, triumphs, losses, and gains. So often just hearing the words, “I, too, have felt such sorrow” or a soft hand cupping my own or a friend that will gasp her breath if I’ve forgotten my own. When we share our weaknesses, we share our greatest strength - the ability to connect through our stories and it will encourage others to walk in their own truths. So tonight, in my reflection, I honor what was and what is, in this moment and bow in gratitude for all of the Beings that have continued to show me their raw truths and being vulnerable to a world that wants us to numb ourselves and find fortunes in false connections. I honor you all for drumming to your beat and in turn tune into my own.
My heart with yours.