Changing pace; like nature, right on time

I am carrying on what’s beneath the surface. It’s the greens and blues, life like a pendulum swing carried by the sea. Perhaps what’s most true for each of us is what’s underneath the shell, what isn’t necessarily written or spoken, our nature of true self. The untidy, unkept. The way we burst and cry with laughter or how tears can move us from joy to pain and back to joy sensually. We pull back and crash forth often when no one is looking.

I am changing myself, perhaps folding into myself as the summer’s end begins to creep in. I find myself going quiet. Taking long pauses to respond. Feeling no need to reply upon immediate calls. Often the things I held tight to respond, as if to say, “I’m here!” I’m still here but not so fast.

So instant, we move, sometimes absorbing ourselves to race. Where are we all going so fast? Is that living, at racing speeds? Can we listen to ourselves when much of the life is pressed by a button? I don’t know.
I ask questions that don’t need answer. It is simple. A need for privacy, maybe protection, not out of fear, but out of love. A desire to move slow, not to fill up the day with mindless tasks or draining relationships. I think it’s time to move on from anything that distracts me from the presence of love.

So, life is the light kept beneath the sea. I take on the pleasures and lessons that bathed me here. There’s so much beauty and light and love, even when faced with terror. It’s there. I see now, more than ever, how my light has carried the weight of my darkness. When my shadow was most loud, screaming and raging, at times, it was the whisper of light I heard. In its soft cues, I moved toward the light. I kept on. Moving to be moved. Now much slower, I know I’m changing pace. And it feels like it’s right on time, like nature, always on time.

I am pulled by ways of nature. Swinging with the sea, life by the sea.

stephanie birch

light chasers: never settling in ashes, they rise into the light

Surround yourself with the light chasers. They’re the ones that have edges and foraged through darkness, they have gripped the earth, pummeled themselves and began again. They are the light beacons that know pain, but they don’t move from pain, they move from love. They are the ones that understand the others in their pain without lessening themselves or another from such depths. These will be the movers and shakers that witness the beauty in the breakdown, but they don’t stop there. They are the ones that will challenge, perhaps trigger, others by the light they give.
You understand the struggles faced by what others perceive because you know it well, you lived there for a time. But you moved on. You built a life from darkness into light and your mission will be to give birth to others by witness or reaching out your hand, it is the extension of your heart. You open your heart and support another’s breath. Without shame, without judgment. With loving and compassionate eyes. It is not my pain or darkness that matters, it is not my story that is for an audience. That is the past, I don’t live there anymore.
My hope is to move you in the present, through real time, not by happened to you; it is witnessing you through love, in the now, and steady myself while holding space for you to do the same. Only you can heal yourself. And there’s nothing attention-seeking about it. Every action, inaction, relationship, and experience will be drawing forth leading you to choice. You have the power to change yourself, take away the audience, what you have left is your own damn fire and fucking flame to burn bright and be the light. Never settling for the ashes that once was.

stephanie birch

Thank you, life

We found beaches where few were within sight, like our own private beach. My cheeks are sore from smiling so much. Tears and laugh lines filled with gratitude. Thank you, life.
We are soon to come home and oh so ready with much reflection, love, clarity, strength, sandy butts, tan lines, and salty hair.

stephanie birch

Family first

So many firsts in one trip. The time we spent together day in and out will be my favorite. We are a family of opposite schedules at home; always with one away, the rarity of family meals, working hours, juggling a family business, and teaching in the presence of our little-big-man has proven to be challenging. My hope has always been to build him a life while witnessing his parents doing exactly what they love. For loving what you do will never tire your bones, it will keep you growing and loving and giving yourself everyday.
This trip has given us the space and time to be a trio of real time family time. It is our most asked request and heart crush at once from our son when we are home, “when will it be a family day?” he asks nearly on the daily. More than ever we realize the importance of not filling up our days to the brim of business. To make family time a priority. To be present at meals. To create adventure at home. This trip has taught me so much and most of all, presence in the form of greatest love and gratitude. Living and loving is a form of gratitude, indeed.

stephanie birch